I'm sure that all of you reading this have been on a diet at some point. If you've been successful, you've lost some, if not all of the weight you hoped to lose. Its exhilarating, isn't it?? The feeling of your clothes becoming looser, the compliments and sometimes shocked comments, the numbers dropping on the scale. Its a total high. I think that the positive reinforcements are the strongest motivator to keep going- its so exciting to transform for the better. However, every diet ends, right? Most of us go back to the way we were living/eating before and the pounds slowly creep back on. A few of us change our lifestyle long-term and maintain a lower, healthier weight. Either way, all those great side benefits cease. Your clothes just feel like your clothes, the compliments cease because people get used to your new shape, the scale stops changing or even goes the other direction. Life becomes normal. And perhaps, you replace the high of dieting and losing weight with the old and familiar high of over-indulgence.
This process of letting go of sweets and processed junk food has felt a bit like a diet, though my goal isn't weight loss and the scale hasn't changed. But there has been a bit of a high for a time- the high of being successful, seeing that I can indeed say no, feeling powerful realizing that food doesn't have to control me, finding out what the Bible has to say about gluttony and addiction, beginning to feel free of the grip these foods have had on me. But just like a diet, the high begins to fade and it gets a little... boring. Routine. Same ol', same ol'.
That's where I'm at now. And this is when the REAL test begins. The novelty is gone and I'm really beginning the process of forming new habits, routines and thought patterns. I am 32 days into this journey. 32 days!! That's a loooooong time for the old me. I had actually lost count until I looked at my calendar just now. I'm slowly getting used to saying no to sweets and junk, but new situations are always presenting themselves and it always requires pulling up the old bootstraps and gritting my teeth and going without though I'm still so programmed to want to say "YES, PLEASE!!" Sometimes, its hard to even remember that I need to say no.
But here's what's been really helpful as I begin to form these new habits, this new way of living. In addition to recognizing that this is an addiction that I'm overcoming, its helpful to think of myself with other people who give up foods for important reasons, namely vegetarians and those with food allergies or food sensitivities. In reality, I DO have a sugar sensitivity. (Most of us do.) And rather than think of it as something I'm choosing to give up for a while (which always leads to a battle in my mind and the temptation to end the fast early), I'm thinking of it as a life long change that I'm making for my health and well being. My old habits are deeply ingrained and it takes a very long time to learn new ones and especially new ways of thinking. For example, that I can have a friend over for dinner and not serve dessert and believe that she's still blessed by the hospitality and enjoyed herself. Or that I can have my period and NOT have chocolate... and feel just fine. Or that people will be ok if I say no when offered something. I'm realizing that some people just don't care for sweets (like my dear husband) and no one gets offended when the offer is politely declined. I've just personally never felt like I could say no. Or didn't see any reason to.
I am often surprised by the struggle that still pops up when faced with sweets. But its getting easier. And the changes in my mind and heart and life are remarkable. First and foremost, I have not been tempted to binge. It has definitely crossed my mind many times. But when I'm only eating wholesome foods that aren't loaded with sugar, fat and salt, the craving just isn't as strong. Its truly amazing. Beyond that, life just feels quieter and calmer. Its easier to eat meals and snacks at designated times and not be fighting the urge to eat all day long. Before I began this process it was common for entire days to be oriented around what I was craving and how to get it or how to work off the sins of the past few days. Indulgence, guilt, indulgence, guilt, etc, etc, etc. I love not being in that cycle!! As I noted in a previous post, my tastes are changing. I enjoy foods that are much less sweet now- truly enjoy them! I also appreciate the other flavors and smells so much more. And the huge side benefit to all this is that my kids are also learning to enjoy a life with less sugar. (Though they still have sweets occasionally.) It makes me so proud to see them trying and liking new foods, being adventurous and slowly beginning to care about making healthy choices.
Anyway, that's probably enough for tonight. I am so thankful to be on this journey and am kind of still amazed that I'm actually on it. Sometimes I have a hard time believing that I really am being transformed. Thankfully its God who is giving me the strength and conviction to keep pressing forward. I have seen what happens when I try to overcome this addiction in my own strength and it is not pretty.
"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
P.S. Watch for some resource references coming soon. I've discovered some pretty incredible articles on food addiction/sugar addiction and want to share them with you.
Hi Jenelle.
ReplyDeleteThank you for creating this blog. I am very inspired by your writing. I can relate to so much that you are saying. I have tried sugar fasts and even though I notice that I feel a lot better from it, I always go back to the old habits. I give up. But after reading what you wrote, I feel empowered to join you in the task of saying no to sweets. I too want to feel that I have control over what I put in my mouth. I want to feel satisfied by food and stop craving so much. I know that sugar is a big part of it. So I begin again. Thank you!! I'll keep reading!!